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Gawr Gura is easily the most recognizable name in vtubing. She was also my favorite. Strange thing to admit, I know, but then again, I write stories about rabbit girls on the Moon. Liking a vtuber is tame compared to that. My short story Shark Girl featured a lengthy author's note providing context for its creation, but I felt it was inadequate, so I wrote this essay to provide more detail as to who Gura was, why I liked her so much, and how she was ultimately undone by the fame that landed in her lap. The information presented here is by no means exhaustive. Those wishing to learn more are encouraged to do their own research.
Before I can get to the main subject, I need to explain what a vtuber is. It's essentially an online entertainer that uses an anime avatar instead of their real face. The detailed history of vtubing is beyond the scope of this article. I merely wish to focus on how I eventually discovered Gura. Back when I used to use Twitter, I followed a man named BeigeShiba. (Hey BeigeShiba, if you're reading this, hi.) At some point around the first half of 2020, he posted a video of Kiryu Coco dancing in front of that one Carl Schmitt quote about the friend/enemy distinction. That was my first exposure to Hololive, the most famous vtuber agency. I watched a few clips from Coco, Marine, and others and thought they were interesting, but the language and cultural barriers kept me from truly connecting with them.
Hololive then announced that they would be creating an English-speaking branch in September 2020. Many people were skeptical at first. Vtubing was a niche thing outside of Japan, so they doubted it would catch on in the West. This certainly was not helped by the fact that most people thought anime was for weird nerdy shut-ins. Despite the odds, these five new English-speaking talents proved to be quite successful. Millions fell in love with the wholesome tentacle monster (Ina), the Austrian bird brain (Kiara), the edgy genderswapped grim reaper (Calli), and the gamer gremlin detective (Amelia). But it was the shark girl (Gura) who proved to be the most popular.
Gura got off to a rocky start, for she was 12 minutes late to her own debut. Once she arrived, she had a series of technical difficulties. When she appeared on screen, the silence was thick. Then she opened her mouth and uttered a single syllable which immediately became a meme. Throughout the rest of her debut, people grew to like her nervous disposition and overall silliness. I was one of those people. A few days later, when she was playing Plug & Play, she noticed people in chat saying they were going to simp over her. She asked if they meant shrimp. When I saw that, I said to myself, "Guess I'm a shrimp now."
Shortly after she debuted, she exploded in popularity, and it did not take her long to become a pioneer in her field. She was the first Hololive member to reach one million subscribers, the first English-speaking vtuber to reach one million subscribers, the first vtuber in general to reach three million and later four million subscribers, she inspired countless people in the West to become vtubers themselves, she had a cameo in a Taco Bell ad, and she sang during the seventh inning at an L.A. Dodgers game.
Of course, her rise in popularity was not without controversy. I still remember all the envious e-girls who seethed over her and all the other members of Hololive English, as well as smearing all vtuber fans as smelly incels. They failed to realize that if real women were more pleasant and virtuous, then there would be no demand for vtubers. One of these e-girls (who shall go unnamed) even went so far as to say that Gura was encouraging pedophilia simply by having a childlike appearance. Gura responded to this controversy by not even giving those people the time of day. And in case anyone is wondering, Gura is so short in real life that she is often mistaken for a child, which explains why her model looks the way it does.
There were two main reasons why she got so popular so quickly, and why I liked her so much. First of all, she was cute. Her vtuber model was created by Amashiro Natsuki a.k.a. Nachoneko. The art style was already pleasing to look at, but her design was even more wonderful. Her outfit was simple yet easily recognizable. It consisted of a blue hoodie with a large red mouth sewn in the side. These basic yet striking features allowed for easy branding. Her piercing eyes and tiny shark teeth made her stand out from her peers even more. Secondly, she was funny. Though she acted dumb, she was very witty. She was incredible at improvisation and had excellent chemistry when interacting with others. She was also well-versed in internet humor, which gave her the ability to craft many memeable moments.
To be honest, I was not as zealous as some of Gura's other fans. I was too poor to buy any of her merch or send her superchats. Due to time constraints, I could not watch most of her streams in their entirety, but I have watched many, many clips. Said clips always brightened up my day. One of my favorite moments was when she referenced Vinny Vinesauce. It was a small but delightful gesture. I also enjoyed the moment when Calli and Ina found the large-busted Haachama statue and tried to be all subtle about it, and then Gura ran in and shouted, "Oh my God! Booba!" Gotta love how she has no filter like that. There was also the time when a chat member asked what he was watching and Gura gave an explanation that felt like it came from an Adult Swim sketch.
If I were to talk about my favorite Gura moments, I would be here all day, so I will not waste any more time on that. Aside from being a great comedian, she was also a fantastic vocalist. She was not the most technically proficient singer in Hololive, but she was the most passionate. She always sang from the heart. This is why so many people loved her karaoke streams and why her cover of "Country Roads" in particular is so widely viewed. Therein lies another reason why Gura became so popular and beloved: her authenticity. She genuinely loved singing and entertaining her fans. Though she roleplayed as a shark girl, every joke she told and every silly thing she did felt like an expression of her true self.
The first two years were fantastic, but trouble began brewing in December 2022 when she became so physically ill that she was forced to take a three month break. She started taking longer and more frequent hiatuses after this. People grew concerned for her and wished for her health to improve. On September 30, 2024, her best friend Amelia Watson left Hololive. Gura did not stream for almost four months afterward. She came back on January 25, 2025, but she took another break in February, again for health reasons. After a pair of collabs on the 18th and 19th of February, she did not stream for almost two months. On April 12, she returned for another collab. In that stream, she stated that she had been stressing out, but her co-hosts paid her no heed. Three days later, she shocked the vtuber world when she announced that she would be graduating (i.e., quitting) from Hololive on May 1. I thought it was a joke when I saw that video notification, but when the stream finally aired, I was heartbroken to discover it was not.
In retrospect, I should have seen her graduation coming from a mile away. The truth is, Gura never expected nor wanted to be the most popular vtuber on the planet. She just wanted to be a cute little shark girl who plays video games and talks about feet, but fate had other plans. When people saw just how adorable and hilarious she was, they flocked to her and she was thrust into stardom overnight. She became the de facto face not only of Hololive, but of vtubing as a whole. Even those who are not at all familiar with vtubing knew who she was. A sudden surge in popularity like that is overwhelming for any normal person, but for someone as nervous and introverted as Gura, it was absolutely terrifying.
She quickly became the most prominent modern example of suffering from success. Young people today fantasize about fame and fortune, but Gura's story proves that such desires are overrated, for with that success comes a mountain of responsibility. I cannot stress that point enough. Do not envy popular YouTubers or other entertainers, for they have people to please, high expectations to live up to, and obligations to fulfill. One misstep will be the end of them, for millions of eyes are upon them. Would you be willing to handle extreme pressure like that, or would you crumble?
After gaining so many fans so quickly, she became deathly afraid of disappointing them all. She felt like she needed to make her content the very best, which explains why she put out so few music videos compared to the other members of Hololive English. She was constantly fighting anxiety whenever she was recording at the studio or performing on stage. Though that sounds like a contradiction to what I said earlier about the joy she had while performing, it is still possible to love doing something while also feeling extremely anxious while doing it. This creates a terrible internal conflict that cannot be resolved easily without a drastic change in circumstance. She felt miserable, but she still put a smile on her face and pretended that everything was fine because that was her job. It is also speculated that she started suffering from impostor syndrome in early 2021. This means she was basically asking herself, "Do people actually like me, or do they only like my anime avatar?" There is no definitive proof for this because she never received an official diagnosis, but the lyrics of her song "Reflect" describe a mental turmoil matching this disease. And just like every other famous person, she also had to contend with a small but loud contingent of schizos who said horrible things about her and wished death upon her.
All of this stressed her out so much she could not eat or sleep, which predictably weakened her immune system which then caused her to frequently fall ill. Fame was literally killing her. Because of this, she started going months at a time without streaming. Once most of her best friends left Hololive, the emotional pain became too great for her to bear, so she decided to walk out the door with them. Her announcement still came as a shock, though. No one, not even her closest friends, knew exactly when she was going to graduate.
On April 19, she released a music video called "Ash Again," which featured instrumental work by Casey Edwards of Devil May Cry 5 fame and animation Mazumaro. This was her swansong, her magnum opus. She mentioned that she had been working on it for almost two years, which meant that she had been thinking about quitting since mid-2023. In stark contrast to what she made in the past, this song is dark and depressing. It is an unbridled expression of her anger, frustration, and despair. It describes how she felt imprisoned by her fame and how she wanted to burn it all down and do it all over again. Many people say they wept upon watching it. So did I. I could not believe such a passionate and powerful work of art was made by the same girl who earned a reputation for being the goofiest shark in the world.
Aside from a few streams and collabs, Gura was not very active in the days leading up to her graduation. Her final proper stream was a game of Uno with her genmates. Despite her achievements, she never let any of it get to her head. She did not want some flashy and extravagant send-off where all the members of Hololive told her how great she was. She just wanted to hang out with friends. In an age obsessed with pride, humility like that is a breath of fresh air.
Then came her final live show. Hololive concerts tend to be highly polished affairs, but Gura's performance here felt more raw, something more akin to her karaoke streams. She missed a few of the beats, but that made the experience more authentic. It began with "Ride on Time," the song she performed on her debut. Next came "Reflect," her biggest original hit. Then came a medley which served as a retrospective of her time in Hololive. She was holding back tears the whole show, so when she started crying during her performance of "Our Bright Parade," it broke my heart all over again. She tried her best to maintain her composure, but strong emotions are hard to keep down. She knew just how badly her fans would miss her. She did not want to leave, but she had to for the sake of her health.
"Ash Again" was the final song in the set. The official version of the song was a bleak and somber affair, but there was something about her vocal delivery here that made it sound more epic. She was powerful and engaging throughout, but it was during the climax that she gives the most incredible performance of her career. It felt like a massive star going supernova. She saved up all her energy for that very moment. When she struck those high notes at the very end, it became undeniable that she was truly blessed, one of a kind. She could have reached the stars if she wanted to.
Once the concert was over, she gave one final message to the audience, thanking them for all their support over the years. Though she was dressed like an Atlantean princess, she spoke with a meek voice, had a nervous disposition, and even cracked a joke about her height and brain activity. Despite all she had been through over the years, she was still the same loveable girl from her debut. Despite everything, it's still you.
Before I end this article, I want to mention an open secret: Gura was once known as Senzawa, who is best known for the song "Oki Doki Boomer." Many are now saying that she will return under her previous name, but the more I think about it, the more I am certain that this will not happen. Her pre-Hololive identity has too much negative baggage associated with it. When she streamed under that name, she became an alcoholic because 4chan users regularly coaxed her into getting drunk. And according to those who had been there, her Discord server was one of the worst places on the entire internet, filled with some of the most despicable degenerates imaginable. Her last post on there before it was shut down was, "Every time I come to this place I die a little inside." Why would she remind herself of all that?
She will also not return any time soon. Her tone of voice in her last few appearances suggested that she is completely burnt out with the whole vtuber thing. This is another major reason why she went months at a time without streaming. If she does plan to come back, what will likely happen is that she will stay quiet long enough for the heat to die down, then she will return under a whole new identity. In all honesty, though, she is better off pulling a Diocletian by tending to her garden for the rest of her life. That seems to bring her the most joy as of this moment. And to all the people obsessively monitoring Senzawa's accounts for any sign of new activity, I say leave the poor girl alone. She has been through enough already.
It is depressing to know that we will never see that amazing shark girl again, but on the positive side, instead of fading away or becoming hated, she will be remembered on the highest note possible. She is one of the only vtubers to have earned the title of Legend. She was the little shark that could. She broke numerous records. She inspired countless others in her wake. She ended her time in the spotlight with one of the greatest performances in vtubing history. With a voice like hers, she could have gone on to have an illustrious musical career and earned a fortune, but in a display of saintly humility, she turned it down in favor of inner peace. We will always love you, Gura. Rest your weary head, and may God bless your soul.
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